Burden
I remember a year or so ago, there was a stage where my dad regularly expressed his worry of being a burden to his children, which I sincerely denied so.
It is still true that his physical ailment (i.e. his cancer) or my mum's mental ailment (i.e. bipolar disorder) is not a burden to me. Those I can help them e.g. plan their hospital appointments, be familiar with the chronoligal development of their ailments and their medication; journey to Butterworth and stay there for a while to bring them to their various appointments; asking doctors pertinent questions, giving them relevant information and help them to rephrase their questions to my parents. Yes, it's exhausting but I can do it.
What I cannot handle, and it frustrates me, is their unreasonable behaviour/attitude. For example,
(1) It's understandable that my dad isn't happy being at nursing home despite him seeing the necessity but it frustrates me that he is making it an even worse experience by not doing things that he would normally do. He didn't reciprocate a person's attempt to engage him in conversation, didn't read newspaper and didn't watch those drama series on his tablet that my sister took time to download. He chooses to sulk all the time. Yet, he had the temerity to complain to me about being "bored" almost every time I met or spoke with him. Luckily now, he stops complaining but he still sulks.
(2) My dad used to complain when nobody visited him. He should know this but I explained anyway: it takes nearly an hour for us to drive there. So if we stay there for 1-2 hours, our total time spent on the trip is 3-4 hours. Imagine doing this every single day. It's very tiring. Moreover, we also have other things to do. Put it another way: at home, we don't even spend that much 1-to-1 time with him everyday.
(3) Clamping up over important matters pertaining to their ailments. If they don't tell me, I can't help and yet my dad (thankfully not my mum) will moan and groan about it.
(4) Both my parents refuse to learn to take Grab, despite us offering to order Grab for them. It will be trememndous help if they use it to merely collect medicine from the public clinic, rather than wait for me to be around to do so. My sister herself is ill and already has a lot on her plate dealing with my parents' routine needs and her own family's needs. Also, I offered my mum this service so that she could visit dad during weekdays (my sister visits him each weekend) but to no avail. Haiz.
So, in short, their ailments are not a burden to me but their behaviour is making it so.
It is still true that his physical ailment (i.e. his cancer) or my mum's mental ailment (i.e. bipolar disorder) is not a burden to me. Those I can help them e.g. plan their hospital appointments, be familiar with the chronoligal development of their ailments and their medication; journey to Butterworth and stay there for a while to bring them to their various appointments; asking doctors pertinent questions, giving them relevant information and help them to rephrase their questions to my parents. Yes, it's exhausting but I can do it.
What I cannot handle, and it frustrates me, is their unreasonable behaviour/attitude. For example,
(1) It's understandable that my dad isn't happy being at nursing home despite him seeing the necessity but it frustrates me that he is making it an even worse experience by not doing things that he would normally do. He didn't reciprocate a person's attempt to engage him in conversation, didn't read newspaper and didn't watch those drama series on his tablet that my sister took time to download. He chooses to sulk all the time. Yet, he had the temerity to complain to me about being "bored" almost every time I met or spoke with him. Luckily now, he stops complaining but he still sulks.
(2) My dad used to complain when nobody visited him. He should know this but I explained anyway: it takes nearly an hour for us to drive there. So if we stay there for 1-2 hours, our total time spent on the trip is 3-4 hours. Imagine doing this every single day. It's very tiring. Moreover, we also have other things to do. Put it another way: at home, we don't even spend that much 1-to-1 time with him everyday.
(3) Clamping up over important matters pertaining to their ailments. If they don't tell me, I can't help and yet my dad (thankfully not my mum) will moan and groan about it.
(4) Both my parents refuse to learn to take Grab, despite us offering to order Grab for them. It will be trememndous help if they use it to merely collect medicine from the public clinic, rather than wait for me to be around to do so. My sister herself is ill and already has a lot on her plate dealing with my parents' routine needs and her own family's needs. Also, I offered my mum this service so that she could visit dad during weekdays (my sister visits him each weekend) but to no avail. Haiz.
So, in short, their ailments are not a burden to me but their behaviour is making it so.
Comments
Yes, I'm so grateful for his help and presence but I do feel bad that I couldn't spend as much time with him as I would like to when I'm there, especially because of my parents' underiable behaviour.