Crisis with eggshells

(1) Drastic change in behaviour
(2) Claims she's the chosen one of Buddha and yet it's ok to make everyone else miserable
(3) To help someone is to whack him/her and then weep for him/her
(4) Making accusations that are clearly not true
(5) Wants everyone to listen to her but she doesn't want to listen to others
(6) Wants everything done her way, including parenting method
(7) Bang head on floor or use hands to close her ears when others want to talk to her
(8) Talk to herself (but only for a short period of time)
(9) Get snappy ("You don't know one lah" "You never listen") when we suggest possibilities of, say, why there's blood in her phlegm. The all knowing, all seeing.
(10) Demands that she's informed on every single decisions made by everyone
(11) Refuses to engage in discussion, insisting that she's right.

That's my mum. I had to return to Butterworth two weeks earlier than planned to help my sister and dad to try to, ultimately, persuade her to see a psychiatrist. According to a friend who is a psychiatrist in a private hospital, we had to drag her if she didn't agree. Fortunately, two days after I arrived (the first talk on the day I arrived didn't work), she finally agreed after my dad suggested that they pay a visit to the public hospital psychiatrist to "complain" about her stopping Xanax prescription for my mum.

Another piece of good news is that we managed to get an appointment with my friend (was sort of prevented earlier due to "politics" at hospital) just 2 days later. I was trying hard to get appointments from a few hospitals. So in the meantime, we tried to tolerate her behaviour as much as possible lest she changed her mind.

During my few days stay here (so far), I felt uncomfortable because
  • I had to try not to "disagree" with her
  • I tried not to joke around with her because I'll never know whether she'll be angry or not
  • Tried not to stop her from doing things that are unproductive
  • On the lookout for any signs that she was doing something dangerous
It was like walking on eggshells. Imagine how my sis and her husband felt: they have kids and my mum every now and then interfered with their parenting, albeit behind their backs.

My poor, poor dad. He's a cancer patient and yet had to put up with this :(

Update:
In short, Dr N diagnosed my mum as bipolar. This is commonly misdiagnosed because patient usually seek help when they are "low" but not when they are "high". Unless the doctor spends time asking questions thoroughly, he may misdiagnose the patient as under depression. So my mum is on a modified set of medication (to slowly wean her off previous medicine and also taking into account her conditions that are coloured by past experience). Fortunately, mum likes Dr N and so she will see her again in a week's time.
4 Responses
  1. Twilight Man Says:

    This is so sad to hear that your mum is not well too. That must be very tiring for you all and gives you mental strain. Soon you might become like me when my good BP reading became high with sleepless nights worrying for both my late parents. Be strong and you have a supportive partner to help you destress! Honestly there might be any cure for bipolar but someone close needs to use love and kindness to help her like a spoilt child. I have seen so many cases around and you are not alone. Good luck! Call me if you need to have Kopi-O.


  2. Jaded Jeremy Says:

    Twilight Man,
    Thank you.


  3. William Says:

    A very trying situation indeed when you can't approach your mum the 'usual' way. Difficult to comprehend and can't really anticipate. Hope the new medication will help.