The end: released from suffering
Just in case someone pointed out the date of post "Bedsore x4": most of my blog posts were written in advance of their chosen published dates. With that aside, 4th April 2020 is when my dad no longer suffers: he passed away at 11.45am.
Coincidentally, I had trouble sleeping from 6am onward. It was the recurring hot-with blanket-but-cold-without-it syndrome. So I woke up, had breakfast, read news and played Slay the Spire while waiting for my food to be digested and to go to bed when tiredness set in.
At 10.08am, my sister called to tell me that dad probably would moved on in the next 24 hours. Much later, she told me how she knew: dad had some difficulty in breathing. Sounded like lots of phlegm. Coincidentally, my sister was shown a video by the hospice nurse of the condition of another patient before he passed away the next day. So that gave some hints. She then sent a video of my dad to the hospice nurse, who then told her my dad's time was ending soon. Note that previously, she could never provide estimate (even in terms of months) of his remaining lifespan. She advised my sister to call me so that I could have some final words with my dad.
By that time, my dad wasn't responding to chat any more and so it was just me talking to him. I apologised to him for not being there but as I told him before, what matters most is the time we spent together throughout our lives. "Bye bye, Pa."
When my dad was responsive, my sister had the opportunity to talk with him. It was during this short conversation that his breathing normalised. In fact, at certain points, he responded loudly.
"Pa, tell Ah Kong and Ah Ma you're coming. They are waiting for you."
"They are?"
"Yes, you're one of their favourite sons mah. Tell them you're coming"
"COMING!"
"Tell them you're ready"
"READY!"
"You can once again disturb and joke with them until Ah Kong says ** ***"
"*** **" (these are Teochew swear words lol)
At 11.57am, my sister called me to inform me of his passing. The rest of the afternoon I was occupied with preparing to travel to Butterworth that day:
We're quite fortunate that his death isn't unexpected. In fact, we had been preparing for more than a year. These past few months, all of us, including my dad, wished that he would move on the soonest, preferably in his sleep (since he could still sleep peacefully), so that he no longer would be in pain. As Ban pointed out, there was nothing else for him to look forward too. In a sense, it was a joyous occassion for him. However, naturally we felt sad because a part of us went with him as well.
Rest in peace, Pa. May you continue to joke with your parents and travel widely in the afterlife.
Coincidentally, I had trouble sleeping from 6am onward. It was the recurring hot-with blanket-but-cold-without-it syndrome. So I woke up, had breakfast, read news and played Slay the Spire while waiting for my food to be digested and to go to bed when tiredness set in.
At 10.08am, my sister called to tell me that dad probably would moved on in the next 24 hours. Much later, she told me how she knew: dad had some difficulty in breathing. Sounded like lots of phlegm. Coincidentally, my sister was shown a video by the hospice nurse of the condition of another patient before he passed away the next day. So that gave some hints. She then sent a video of my dad to the hospice nurse, who then told her my dad's time was ending soon. Note that previously, she could never provide estimate (even in terms of months) of his remaining lifespan. She advised my sister to call me so that I could have some final words with my dad.
By that time, my dad wasn't responding to chat any more and so it was just me talking to him. I apologised to him for not being there but as I told him before, what matters most is the time we spent together throughout our lives. "Bye bye, Pa."
When my dad was responsive, my sister had the opportunity to talk with him. It was during this short conversation that his breathing normalised. In fact, at certain points, he responded loudly.
"Pa, tell Ah Kong and Ah Ma you're coming. They are waiting for you."
"They are?"
"Yes, you're one of their favourite sons mah. Tell them you're coming"
"COMING!"
"Tell them you're ready"
"READY!"
"You can once again disturb and joke with them until Ah Kong says ** ***"
"*** **" (these are Teochew swear words lol)
At 11.57am, my sister called me to inform me of his passing. The rest of the afternoon I was occupied with preparing to travel to Butterworth that day:
- Tried getting permission letter from police to travel interstate during this movement control order ("MCO"), which is like a partial lockdown. However, the policeman said no such letter was needed. I just needed to prepare to explain and provide relevant proof if I was stopped by policemen.
- Bought 4.30pm Firefly flight. Most expensive one-way ticket by far: RM 639! Ticket price for the following day was RM 179 for morning flight and RM189 for late afternoon flight. Such huge difference! My bro-in-law guessed that it might be due to it classified as last minute booking because I bought it merely 3 hours before departure time. Hmmm.
- Mightily suprised that no one at Subang airport asked me for the reason I traveled. This was done at Penang airport on arrival. They should switch the checking at depature: save time and money.
- Checks at Penang airport took 30 minutes, involving 3 stages. There wasn't any problem for me. They didn't even ask for documentary proof.
We're quite fortunate that his death isn't unexpected. In fact, we had been preparing for more than a year. These past few months, all of us, including my dad, wished that he would move on the soonest, preferably in his sleep (since he could still sleep peacefully), so that he no longer would be in pain. As Ban pointed out, there was nothing else for him to look forward too. In a sense, it was a joyous occassion for him. However, naturally we felt sad because a part of us went with him as well.
Rest in peace, Pa. May you continue to joke with your parents and travel widely in the afterlife.
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Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks and sure!