Anger: what to do?
I read a number of (positive) parenting articles about helping children understand anger and that it's normal to be angry. What's crucial, however, is how one deals with it
It may surprise some people, especially people not close to me, that I'm naturally hot-tempered. I learned long ago that if I react to it by shouting or get into an argument with angry words with someone, inevitably I will feel guilty about it later. What bites me especially the most is that sometimes I believed that person deserves it and I hate it that I feel guilty about it.
However, later I found more important reasons not to react while angry: it could have even worse consequences e.g. exacerbate misunderstanding, being defensive even though I was in the wrong, things/relationships destroyed etc.
So I learn not to say much when I'm angry because if I should talk, it will likely result in a tirade and raised voice in anger. I'll be quiet and focus on something else. I still need to remember to take deep breaths and then breathe normally.
I'm much better than, say, 2 decades ago but there's definitely room for improvement.
So is there a place for anger? Yes, I believed there is. It could be the spark to drive one to correct, say, an injustice or to help someone but the key thing is to handle this spark constructively, rather than let loose its destructive power.
It may surprise some people, especially people not close to me, that I'm naturally hot-tempered. I learned long ago that if I react to it by shouting or get into an argument with angry words with someone, inevitably I will feel guilty about it later. What bites me especially the most is that sometimes I believed that person deserves it and I hate it that I feel guilty about it.
However, later I found more important reasons not to react while angry: it could have even worse consequences e.g. exacerbate misunderstanding, being defensive even though I was in the wrong, things/relationships destroyed etc.
So I learn not to say much when I'm angry because if I should talk, it will likely result in a tirade and raised voice in anger. I'll be quiet and focus on something else. I still need to remember to take deep breaths and then breathe normally.
I'm much better than, say, 2 decades ago but there's definitely room for improvement.
So is there a place for anger? Yes, I believed there is. It could be the spark to drive one to correct, say, an injustice or to help someone but the key thing is to handle this spark constructively, rather than let loose its destructive power.
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