Sound, water, final

I sounded out my sisters on wanting to come out to parents. They suggested instead to help me test the water. They had a couple of suggestions and we finally settled on my youngest sister gossiping about one of my gay friends. FYI, earlier this year, I already had permission from this friend to tell my parents about him being gay, as a conversation opener. Honestly, I forgot about this but luckily my sisters didn't (thanks!).

Initially, it didn't go that well. My youngest sister reported that my dad commented that it was unnatural and that a guy shouldn't be without another guy. My mum was silent. My sister did respond appropriately but that was that. Oh well, at least we tried this, instead of me coming out right away.

The next day, I called my parents to wish them happy anniversary and to my surprise, my dad brought up the topic of my friend being gay. Amazingly, he was positive about it: he accepted that being gay is in-born, and all that matters was that the person does good, treats his parents well, doesn't harm others. Later, my sister reported that after dinner, he brought up this topic once again and my mum this time chimed in with positive comments. I highly suspected that my mum had a hand in changing my dad's mind.

I then discussed with my sisters what to do next. Wasn't this as good as it gets? Shouldn't I just come out to them already? There was a small risk that they may not be that positive if it involved their children. My b-i-l suggested waiting till after CNY so that we could drop more hints. I on the other hand thought that they probably had small clues here and there throughout the years already and the above topic about my gay friend was just probably the final clue they needed.

I had yet fully recovered from an illness and had initially wanted to wait till I'm well. However, I feared that I may lose courage once again, despite the favourable conditions. Also, there was lots of work to do too and so I didn't want this major item hanging around my head any longer than it should. I figured it was as good as any time to tell them.

So I called them and made sure they were on speaker phone. The initial conversation went like this:

Me: Ma, Pa, I have something to tell you.
Mum: That you're married already ar? *in a joking manner*
Me: *laughed* Oh yes, married already. *Ban's eyes widened* Not legally though.
Mum: I know that already lah.
Me: Yah, well, my parter is Ban.
Mum: Yes, I know.
Me: You both are ok with it?
Mum: Yes, we are.

The rest of the conversation was filled with positive comments, affirmation of love for each other, repeat of what they told my sister (as above). There were no drama (although I nearly had tears in my eyes), no "are you sure?", no "what if..." etc. I told them that it was because I care and love them that I took a long time to come out to them. They were understanding and assured me that they were fine with that.

It was also confirmed that my mum did indeed talk my dad into changing his mind, as she had done so numerous times throughout our lives. I'm so glad my dad has changed with times for the better and that made it all possible for this coming out to be successful.

Thank you mum and dad for loving me and being understanding. For certain, I have my sisters to thank for their support and understanding all these long years and playing a huge role in this success. I love all of you.
2 Responses
  1. Jino Says:

    Well done for the courage and your supportive family.




    [Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot